【商業書寫】避免使用商業術語

現在的商業寫作趨勢，極力提倡使用顯淺的英語(Plain English)。可惜，或許是受到殖民地的影響，不少在職人士仍深信，商業書寫一定要加上一些商業術語(business jargon)，和盡量把句子複雜化，才算是「正統」，才稱得上「得體」。既然商業通訊目的在於直接快捷地把訊息傳遞，我們何妨不跟上大趨勢，寫得乾淨利落一點，使讀者更容易明白？

要寫得一手顯淺英語，先要避免使用商業術語及做到用字利落，同時也要刪去重覆的字詞。以下從商業通訊抽出的句式，寫得不夠簡潔直接，讓我們一起把它們改為“Plain English”吧。

1. It has come to my attention that Mr. Cheng is not acting in accordance with company regulations.

註： a) “It has come to my attention that”屬於商業術語，應直接用“We note that”。

         b) “In accordance with”即是“according to”。

→ We note that Mr. Cheng is not acting according to company regulations.

 

2. Kindly advise me at your earliest convenience as to my suitability for the position in your company.

註： a) “Kindly” 屬於商業術語，應盡量避免。

       b) “At your earliest convenience”雖然常用，但不及“as soon as possible”來得直接。

       c) “As to my suitability”可改為“if I am suitable”就更簡單清楚。

→ Please let me know as soon as possible if I am suitable for the position in your company.

 

3. At this writing, we find that we are unable to extend your credit limit in view of your financial circumstances.

註： a) “At this writing”可用“At present”就更直接。

         b) “Find that we are unable to”即是“cannot”。

         c) “in view of”即是“because of”。

→ At present, we cannot extend your credit limit because of your financial circumstances.

 

4. We are in receipt of your email and, as per your instructions, we shall forward the requisite reports at an early date.

註： a) “Be in receipt of” 可用動詞“receive”代替。

       b) “As per” 屬於商業術語，應盡量避免。

       c) 除非是法律文件，否則應用“will”來代替“shall”。

       d) “Requisite”即是“necessary”; “at an early date”即是“soon”。

→ We have received your email and according to your instructions, we will send you the necessary reports soon.

 

5. We beg to inform you that we are herewith cancelling our order.

註： a) “We beg to inform you that” 可以刪減。

      b) “Herewith” 屬於商業術語，應盡量避免。

→ We are cancelling our order.

 

6. I am afraid I am not in a position to grant your request unless you inform me of the reason why you need this confidential appraisal.

註： a) “I am afraid” 屬於商業術語，應盡量避免。

       b) “Be not in a position to grant” 即是“approve”。

       c) “Inform me of the reason”可用一個動詞“explain”代替。

→ I cannot approve your request unless you explain why you need this confidential appraisal.

 

7. Let me repeat again, at this moment in time, it is the customary practice of this company to place an emphasis on the value of being respectful.

註： a) “Repeat”已有「再次」的意思，因此不需再加“again”。

       b) “At this moment in time”及“customary”在這情況下可以刪減。

       c) “To place an emphasis on”可用一個動詞“emphasize”代替。

→ Let me repeat that it is the practice of our company to emphasize the value of being respectful.

 

8. The table which follows is intended to present highlights of some key points contained in the annual report.

註： a) “The table which follows” 即是“the following table”。

       b) “Is intended to present highlights”其實可用一個動詞“highlights”代替。

       c) “Contained in”這裏可簡單用介詞“from”。

→ The following table highlights some key points from the annual report.

或許有些人可能會不認同以上用了“Plain English”後的更改，但作為“Plain English”的提倡者，筆者希望某程度上，能使讀者們稍為注意自己的英語書寫是否可以更加簡潔、更加直接一點。

 

Frankie Chan

MA in English Language Teaching, BSc (First Honour), TEFL Dip.

現代教育IELTS/ TOEFL /Workplace English資深英語名師，著名TOEFL參考書作者及星島日報IELTS攻略專欄作者。曾任劍橋商業英語考試BULATS寫作及口試考官，並於國際大型英語學院任教多年並擔任其多間分校校長，具十多年教學經驗，並具豐富管理與發展商業英語及國際英語考試課程經驗。

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